BYU football: Power ranking the Cougars’ opponents based on mascots

The Top Tier

Tigers (LSU)

Do you have any idea how fast an adult tiger can run? Any idea at all? They top out around 40mph. That’s completely insane. Not to mention, they can carry nearly 1,200 lbs. of weight and one swipe of their paw is fast and strong enough to cave in a cow’s skull. Oh, and they can jump 12 feet in the air from a standing position. This doesn’t end well.

Spartans (San Jose State)

Next: Biggest BYU Football Upsets

Spartans were inspected at birth and killed if they looked to have any defect. From age five or so they were in military training. Around age 11 they marched without shoes, carried heavy armor and slept without clothes to make them tougher. So, the dude standing on the opposite end of this football field has been created solely for the purpose of killing. I know that the Spartans used the phalanx to help minimize potential damage – but even one of these guys is someone I wouldn’t want to mess with.

Vikings (Portland State)

Who would’ve guessed that the worst team BYU football would clash with would have the toughest mascot? The vikings were insane from top to bottom. Some of the warriors would charge into battle without armor or shields (they became known as berserkers). Also, there’s a well-documented torture ritual the vikings would go through called the “blood eagle.” I won’t explain it here, just know it is the most unpleasant thing you’ll ever read. No thanks.