BYU Football: 68 things that will happen before the start of the season

Every year before the start of the college football season odd things happen in the minds of fans, players and television stations.

We are entering the twilight zone of college football season. We are at that point where people really want to talk about college football but don’t really have anything to talk about so they make up stories.  Most of the time, the stories don’t carry very much newsworthy information, or opinion changing content, but as fans we still soak it all up.

So without any further to do, here are 68 things that are going to happen before the start of the 2019 BYU Football season.

68. 1,472,872 and a half videos will be released about Zach Wilson’s arm workouts.

67. Somehow there will be a debate over who the starting quarterback will be.

66. 84 players will post on Twitter that they are “blessed and grateful to receive an offer from BYU” with a generic picture of BYU. We will never hear from 55 of them again.

65. Media outlets like BYU Sports Nation and ESPN 960 will ask the exact same question of the day 15 times. For example, “How concerned are you about Zach Wilson?”, “Should we be concerned about Zach Wilson?” and “Will Zach Wilson’s injury affect the 2019 season?”

64. Cosmo will drop another dance video.

63. BYU will be mentioned exactly zero times until the Thursday of the Utah vs BYU game on ESPN, CBS Sports or Fox Sports.

62. The Kaufusi brothers will release a video of them dancing.

61. The honor code office will get involved with another player leading to another social media war over the importance and overbearance of the HC office.

60. BYU will not change up their music during the pregame. Gangnam Style and YMCA will return to Provo in full force.

59. All your office buddies will begin to make bets about the big game. Since many BYU fans don’t bet, there will be a lot of opposing team T-shirt wearing on the line.

58. Roadwork in Provo and Utah County in general will get worse, as it has since Brigham Young sent the first settlers.

57. Lisa Wilson will begin 11 more debates among BYU fans, and will probably be right on all of them. 

56. Fans will find out when their stake conference is and then stare at the calendar wondering how they will make stake conference and not miss the game.

55. The new tailgate party will seem really cool and fun, but too expensive for you and your eleven kids.

54. My tickets will finally come in for the BYU vs Tennessee game… Not going to lie, I’m starting to get nervous about those….

53. BYU will release the new flavor of ice cream. Good luck beating last year’s flavor Blue Goggle. 

52. The new Starbucks will open across the street from BYU and do really well for three days until students realize that Starbucks mainly only serves coffee and costs a full semester’s worth of tuition to buy anything.

51. The ROC line will be filled with freshmen who have never been to, or seen any football in their lives. The true fans will be stuck in the back of the student section because the freshmen in Helaman with their groups of 40 will each take two hour shifts in line while the real fans have to wait by themselves… Yeah… that’s a personal story. #Waited3daysalone #Row32

50. Kalani Sitake will give the most generic answers ever at every press conference leading up the game.

49. Three more articles will be written about Nick Emery and the NCAA violations, mostly by a news organization in Salt Lake that likes to harass players over a year after the situation has been taken care of. LEAVE HIM ALONE!

48. Lavell Edwards Stadium will be renamed DoTerra Stadium. Free oil samples will be available to the first 500 fans. 

47. Five teams will come out with BYU as their “sneaky good opponent”. They are right.

46. With Mo Langi gone, the most loved and cheered for player will be Rocky Aitogi.

45. The 27 depth chart releases between now and the start of the season will be over analyzed way too much.

44. There will still be three days of snow in the Mountains. Timpanogos will not be hiked this year.

43. There will also be a full week where there won’t be a single cloud in the sky and it will be above 100 degrees.

42. I will not get an ESPN+ subscription. I refuse.

41. The Independence vs MWC debate won’t be brought up. The money announcement that was made at BYU Media Day will keep that debate quiet… for now.

40. The ESPN deal will be announced. The Cougars will play in the Las Vegas Bowl in 2023, the Gasparilla Bowl in 2024 and the newly made Great Value Bowl, which honestly sounds better than the Boca Raton (Rat Mouth) Bowl and quite a few others. 

39. BYU actually will make it on ESPN once, when Trevor Matich finds a way incorporate them in a way that doesn’t make much sense… but we’ll still love it.

38. The students won’t pack the ROC section. School will not have begun yet.

37. Utah fans will throw out the cliche “This game doesn’t matter” or “If it weren’t for being the first game I wouldn’t even watch it.” Yeah. Right.

36. There will be more sponsor’s for the game. That’s right, there is going to be the Essential Living pregame starting lineups.

35. The additions to Lavell Edwards Stadium won’t be ready the week before the game starts but will still somehow get done. They will be awesome. 

34. Utah will have one player of significance miss the game because of a twisted ankle or some other small injury.

33. Ute fans will try to vandalize BYU statues… again. Hate to see what they do to teams they play that they actually care about.

32. Because of new graduation rules, many students will finish their classes in August but have to wait until April 2020 to walk. They can have three kids and a mortgage by then.

31. Everyone currently in Provo will say they plan on hiking the Y before the start of the season, and nobody actually will. Yes, I’m talking to you.

30. Boney Fuller will create a legendary tweet before the game. He/she (we don’t really know who they actually are) has never had this long to create a tweet for the Holy War with no other major sporting events going on. 

29. Mark Pope will announce another huge transfer, eligible immediately. Pope has single handedly taken this program from a crash landing to flying a F-15.

28. Every news organization, including us, will write a “how BYU can go undefeated in 2019”. One of these years we will get it right… Maybe.

27. Jonny Linehan will try to make the team undercover with the name Lonny Jinehan from New Zealand. Nobody will see it coming until its 4th and 18. 

26. The Cougars will add another game to their future schedule.

25. Royal Blue will be announced as the color for the game. We will all freak out and act surprised even though the odds of it being any other color were about the same as Zion Williamson not being drafted 1st overall.

24. We will all be watching BYUtv on ROKU or whatever other streaming device you have to watch old games . Hands will be sweaty, kids will be told to be quiet and stress headaches will come even though we know the result of the game we are watching.

23. Grandpa (or Dad) will share the stories of the good ole days of BYU Football when the Cougars were winning every game by 50 points and you could actually hit people without a 15 yard penalty. 

22. Parking will be awful for the game. Always has been, always will be.

21. EFY will go on with thousands of kids free for the first time in their lives. They will fall in love for a week and then never talk to that person again. #Haven’ttalkedsince2010.

20. You will attend 27 summer weddings. You don’t know the bride or groom for 19 of those.

19.  News outlets will randomly select one player to “watch” as an impact maker even though he will never see the field.

18. The WIFI at LES will finally work the way that it was supposed to a few years back when it was installed.

17. We will finish our BYU Football Top 100 players… alive and without going insane… maybe just a little bit insane.

16. BYU will finally get a kickoff tradition. Calling the Hogs, Seminole Cry and Dawg Call way too cool to not copy.

15. Cougartails will go back to $5. $6 is just too much.

14. Utah fans will continue to comment on BYU posts more than on Ute posts. They are secretly fans and want BYU to win. 

13. That dream vacation you have always wanted to go on and saved a bit for will once again be put on hold after you get a flat tire. Again.

12. Speculation will begin on what the first play of the game will be. I personally say a flea flicker with Hifo and Ghanwoloku (yes Ghanwoloku) going deep and Bushman and MLP running a cross pattern.

11. Bronco Mendenhall will continue to do great things at Virginia. Good for him!

10. The opening weekend of College Football will be the best ever. Florida vs Miami and the Arizona vs Hawaii game are much better than the typical Louisiana LaFayette vs Troy game that features week zero. 

9. You will reluctantly buy the official T-shirt of the season. I actually like them.

8.  An article will be released saying that Utah State is the best team in the state. What happened?

7. Are you still reading this? If so, leave a comment on the Twitter page saying you did!

6. Youtube will release the hype up video for BYU Football, but no JTM this year.

5. BYU will announce an official alternative uniform as part of their new deal with Nike. 

4. BYU 50 will start again, but honestly I am not sure how they are going to beat what they did last year with the shirts and Nike shoes.

3. The twitter page @BYU_Gameday will get 250 followers and @highlightsbyu will get 600 followers. You’re welcome to those two pages, but you’ve liked our stuff enough so we got your back!

2. Andrew George, the last player to score a game winning touchdown against Utah will be the flagbearer and Max Hall will light the Y and with humility say “I don’t hate EVERYTHING about Utah”. At that moment, the curse will be broken.

1. BYU will win the toss, elect to receive and be ready to win the game.