We're three weeks into the college football season, and this year has already provided numerous reminders that preseason rankings are worth about as much as crumbs at the bottom of a Doritos bag. Are you truly satisfied? Really?
While some teams (I'll name names soon enough, don't you worry) have struggled out of the gate, others are steady on the waters. The top of the Big 12 could look drastically different by midseason, but for the moment, we need to take inventory and assess the damages. So we'll scan the tiers of panic and horror all the way from the top of the league's ladder to the inky black depths below.
Ready? If not, well neither were like half of these teams, so we're going to move ahead regardless.
Hooray! Football is so fun!
Teams: Texas Tech, Utah, BYU, TCU
The season is still young, and the honeymoon period is alive and vibrant for each of these fortunate football teams. In Tech's case, they look like early frontrunners for the conference crown. Utah and BYU, while their fans will argue that one is untouchably incredible and the other an evil virus of the devil, have both looked strong, handled business against lesser competition, and have been met with nearly no road bumps. TCU embarrassed Bill Belichick, and that's worth a lot in everyone's book.
Everything is fine, and that makes me panic.
Teams: Arizona, Houston
These two bottom-feeders from last season are actually comfortably undefeated to this point? Is this real life? Well, yes. If stuff like this surprises you, allow me to formally welcome to the Big 12 Conference, where preseason expectations don't matter and anything could happen to any team at a moment's notice. Please enjoy your stay, because these two knuckleheads have certainly made some noise.
Houston exposed a sputtering Colorado program (more on them later), and Arizona piled the pain onto the endless free fall that is the Kansas State Wildcats this season. But these teams were horrible last season, and we can't help but suspect that their demise is inevitable.
Nothing to see here, please disperse!
Teams: Iowa State, Arizona State, Baylor
"But wait, no, ISU is ranked 12th, everything is great, woohoo!" First of all, the AP Poll is nonsense. BYU has sat at 26th and 27th all season, while Florida gets more votes for a loss to USF and 0-win Notre Dame stays ahead of countless unbeaten teams. Iowa State barely escaped Arkansas State at home, and their best wins are 3-point oustings of K-State and an Iowa team that only plays one side of the ball.
Arizona State was caught with their pants down in SEC territory, and couldn't finish the job when they came storming back against Mississippi State. Baylor was stomped in week one by Auburn, but got back on track with a ranked win against SMU.
For each of these teams, the season is far from over, but none of them should feel comfortable as they stand.
Paranoia watch.
Teams: Kansas Jayhawks, Cincinnati, West Virginia, UCF
Historically, these teams have proved that it's not if they disappoint, it's when (except for G5 UCF and Cincy, you'll always have a special place in my heart). None of these teams escaped non-conference unscathed, and look perfectly mediocre -- possibly the worst non-UCLA outcome for a fanbase, because that means they watch every week with expectations. Bless your souls, and stock up on sweets to eat your feelings this fall.
Self-destruct sequence initiated.
Teams: Colorado, Oklahoma State
Deion Sanders had nothing good to say about his team when they lost to Colorado. Oklahoma State has been abysmal, and Mike Gundy's days with the program are likely numbered. The fuse has been lit, and though they haven't reached rock bottom quite yet, their doom is fast approaching.
Face-down in a ditch.
Team: Kansas State
I have nothing positive to say about this team. When they lost a nail-biter to ISU in Ireland, we all viewed that game as a possible Big 12 title game preview.
Yeah, not so much for the Wildcats. They're 1-3 through four games, with their lone win arriving in the form of a 3-point nailbiter against FCS North Dakota (not State). They dropped one to Army, who fell to FCS Tarleton State. They lost to Arizona, who seemed dead in the water just a year ago. Given this team's schedule and early returns, they'd be lucky to reach 6 wins.