Welcome to Memoirs from the Mount, a weekly adventure through the twisting catacombs of my ever-decaying stream of consciousness. From the solitary peak of Mount Fuji to the cascading slopes of Mount Timpanogos, I'm sending a telegram of my perspective on current events surrounding BYU athletics.
Look for the [Bear] necessities
The simple [Bear] necessities
Forget about your worries and your strife
--Bare Necessities, Disney's The Jungle Book
See? I told you I wouldn't be able to abstain from Bear puns for very long. Four games into the season, and I'm already breaking them out like it's what I was born to do.
Bear Bachmeier. BYU's true freshman quarterback. The successor to Jake Retzlaff's mighty reign. The third son in a valiant bloodline. Et cetera, et cetera. Merely four games into the 2025 season, and his reputation already precedes him.
As a quarterback alone, seeing the clunky digits "47" on his chest could be enough to make a grown man more angry than anyone above the age of 17 hearing the numbers six and seven in sequential order (what does it mean? How is "six seven" funny? Am I already that out of touch at 24?). But once the youngster decides to let loose and fling the pigskin, a violent whiplash grabs the viewer's attention -- that's a well-thrown ball.
BYU's freshman hash-slinging slasher makes his presence known with three distinct signs.
First, the lights of LaVell Edwards Stadium will flicker on and off with a flood of touchdowns saturating the field in Provo. Blue, white, black, and back, those prone to epilepsy may want to steer clear when Bear's in the backfield.
Next, the phone will ring with a call from your defensive coordinator -- finally, someone with answers -- but there will be nobody there. There are no answers to solving this BYU football team. Stop the pass, and he'll run through you. Stuff the box, and he'll thread the defense like a lace doily.
And finally, the mighty and ferocious Bear will arrive on the bus that transports the entire team! A harrowing reminder that even the most dangerous of individuals often prefer to use traditional transportation (they're people just like you and me). Down the Cougar Walk he prowls, tapping the gates of the stadium with his grizzly paws.
But unlike the hash-slinging slasher who's terrorized the citizens of Bikini Bottom for decades, Bear Bachmeier is very real, and a palpable threat to anyone unfortunate enough to stand on the sideline opposite him and his Cougar teammates.
Four games into his collegiate career, and this young signal caller has yet to throw a single interception. He keeps the ball out of harms way, nurtures the football, moves it to a safe neighborhood with a good school system and great friends. Puts food on its plate, teaches it how to drive, yells at it when it gets home later than its curfew, but he was never mad at the football, no, he was just afraid -- and though he won't admit it, he's still afraid -- of losing the football he loves so much.
If you had a connection one-tenth as personal to a football as Bear does to his, you wouldn't throw any interceptions, either. Cue the incoming interceptions against West Virginia, and that's my bad if it happens that way. I jinxed it.
According to ESPN, Bear is currently the 6th best freshman in all of college football, and the 39th best power four quarterback (ahead of names like Arch Manning, Cade Klubnik, and Drew Allar, if that matters to you). Though the Cougars' offense hasn't been quite as explosive this season as we witnessed the year prior, the attack has cashed in enough checks at the goal line to keep the loss column at 0. For that, Bear deserves a tremendous amount of credit.
Here's where I think offensive coordinator Aaron Roderick deserves a lot of credit. He'll take plenty of heat every week the Cougars don't score 35+, but he's kept his young signal caller comfortable behind the offensive line. Short, easy passes, a run-heavy scheme, and an offensive system designed to make Bear's life easy have all been implemented. Sure there aren't fireworks on every drive, but I'd argue that it's the offensive coordinator's job to make his quarterback's job easy, not force him to convert on challenging and technical plays.
To put is simply, he's sticking to the Bear Necessities. Take what the defense gives you, and lean into the youngster's strengths as a quarterback. He wears 47 for a reason -- when he crosses the line of scrimmage, you'll be lucky to bring him down painlessly. He dashed for 99 yards against Colorado -- pure lunacy -- and has already heaved 10 touchdowns with his arms.
All this with Roderick keeping it simple. If my alternate reality VHS copy of Disney's The Jungle Book is to be believed, the Bear Necessities of football will come to you. So forget about worries, forget about comparisons, forget about everything that does not serve you as a football player, and as a football team and go out there and take every inch the opposition gives you.
BYU football, depending on who you ask, has a chance to compete for a Big 12 championship despite losing their veteran quarterback late into the offseason. Under Bear Bachmeier, this football team has a new look. A new flare. A new style. No forcing, no discomfort, just letting life be life and loving what you have.
I, for one, love having a quarterback like this in the backfield.
Calvin Barrett is a writer, editor, and prolific Mario Kart racer located in Tokyo, Japan. He has covered the Utah Jazz and BYU athletics since 2024.