Welcome to Memoirs from the Mount, a weekly adventure through the twisting catacombs of my ever-decaying stream of consciousness. From the solitary peak of Mount Fuji to the cascading slopes of Mount Timpanogos, I'm sending a telegram of my perspective on current events surrounding BYU athletics.
The deadline accelerates. Relentless in its flight and rigid in its course, I've booked a one-way trip to BYU football in the year 2025. The train's steady sway rocks the car from right to left. At times, I feel so accustomed to its shifts, as if I could nod off to sleep and awaken before the towering monument of LaVell Edwards Stadium. Then a seismic swing pulls the drain plug from my unconscious mind, and I'm viciously torn from my meditation. Color drains from my surroundings; a burst of light floods my vision again, flowing brilliance back into my field of view. Once more, I clutch to my state of awareness, then again, I'm slipping from reality and diving straight back in.
By the looks of it, I'm not alone on this trip, and it seems I'm not the only passenger experiencing this phenomenon. Royal blue spots nearly every seat on this car as our rushing surroundings perceptibly isolate our train car. In our own world, a fragile bubble launched for the destination.
That destination is week one of the college football calendar. The odd thing about the calendar, however, is its tendency to change form as the year progresses. Any result could drastically shift one's perspective from optimism to dread with a snap. Football is a fickle hobby, but its one we return to as August's finale draws us closer.
Every year, I convince myself that I'm not going to let an uncontrollable result on my television sour my emotional integrity. Every year, I manage to get just as upset as the previous years. It's a merciless hamster wheel, the football season, where strides are made not to advance, but to survive. It's exhausting. It's draining. It's taxing. But every Saturday, we climb back into the wheel and sprint.
But why approach the year with such nihilism? Watching football is a hobby; hobbies are fun, remember? Besides, BYU had its best season in forever last year! They beat seriously good teams and won 11 games! This year will be more of the same right?
Sure. Maybe. But the crimson-clad, block U-bearing individual in the row behind me is busy planting doubts about the arriving season. "Freshman quarterbacks are accident-prone. He's going to lose games." "11-2 was a fluke. Play the season again, and they'd be lucky to steal nine wins." "The Big 12 is too loaded at the top. BYU will tumble back down the hill."
Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head!
I have half a mind to throw this naysayer out of the window. Perfect spiral directly through a tight opening in the train's defense. Velocity rising as he pirouettes through the air. Or maybe I'd punt him through the ceiling. Maybe that wouldn't work for a number of reasons, least of which is his weight in combination with my leg strength (or lack thereof).
If it weren't for the soothing reassurance of the blue gentleman over my opposite shoulder, I may have given in to my confusion and given the shoulder devil a piece of my mind. "Don't listen to that guy. He's trying to lead you down the path of darkness!"
I take a beat to gather myself and quench the doubts from the inside. Football is a complete mystery. It always has been. The best teams in the country can lose any given game if it plays out just right. BYU's path to a championship has never been straightforward before, so why agonize over the potential?
Still, it's a hard feeling to shake; even with the lowest expectations, BYU routinely finds a way to let me down. Was last season a true turning point? A fleeting mirage bound to spring out of view the moment I reach out?
That's the beauty of sports, I guess. Glee or depression, jubilation or misery, I'll get some excitement in my life. That alone makes the ride worth its fare.
Calvin Barrett is a writer, editor, and prolific Mario Kart racer located in Tokyo, Japan. He has covered the Utah Jazz and BYU athletics since 2024.