The more I see of the hideous puke-green Monster logo on Big 12 properties, the more I hate it

BYU football and basketball are poised to put great products on the field and on the court this year.

Too bad the on-field play is going to be diminished by the garish neon-green Monster logo that's going to be plastered all over the Big 12 this year. For those who don't know, commissioner Brett Yormark decided to double-down on the Big 12's "truck stop conference" reputation by entering into a multi-year sponsorship deal with Monster Energy.

Every Big 12 team, BYU included, will get about $1.25 million annually.

In return, every fan and viewer of Big 12 sports will get a color-induced migraine headache having that garish neon-green Monster claw beamed into our skulls for three-plus hours per game.

I don't use the word "hate" very often, but I genuinely hate this Monster Energy deal.

The definition of "garish"

If you don't regularly use the word "garish" in your lexicon, here's Webster's definition:

Garish - adjective: Clothed in vivid colors, excessively or disturbingly vivid, offensively or distressingly bright, tastelessly showy.

I couldn't have hand-picked better words to describe Monster's bright green logo that we are going to have to endure for the entirety of BYU sports broadcasts. Excessive. Disturbing. Offensive. Distressingly bright. TASTELESSLY SHOWY.

If those words don't paint a vivid enough picture, here's the meaning of "garish" in picture form:

While the logo may be small, it's going to be everywhere. This image of Houston's basketball court is right in the middle of paint, which is where almost all of the action takes place. We're probably going to see the same puke-green Monster logo at midcourt and on the sidelines. Even if the individual logos are small, they're going to be omnipresent. They will likely be visible on-screen somewhere as long as the ball is on the court.

As a Power Four school, the Big 12 is living in a nice neighborhood of respectable McMansions.

This garish Monster logo feels like the HOA requiring every front yard to display a half dozen pink flamingos.

An awful logo for viewers to endure

As I proceed from here, I'm only speaking for myself as a sports viewer. You may have completely different experiences, and I'm fine with that. I just have the megaphone of Lawless Republic at my disposal, so I'm going to make my voice heard.

I am a viewer who gets easily annoyed, distracted, and frustrated with loud colors that don't belong on the screen.

For example, I get really, really annoyed by basketball players who wear brightly-colored, mismatching shoes. I find it incredibly distracting.

And don't get me started about when a basketball teams does a "white out", for example, and 98% of the fans visible to the TV cameras are wearing white, but 2% of the people who can been seen on TV are wearing neon green or yellow, just so they can say, "Look at me! I'm on TV!"

The way my brain works is half of my brain is watching the game while the other half is in a spin-cycle of "I can't stop looking at that annoying color...I can't stop looking at that annoying color...I can't stop looking at that annoying color..."

It's just the way I'm wired. I wish it wasn't the case. I wish I could just ignore garish, distracting colors that don't belong in the standard color palette of televised sports broadcasts, but I can't.

And now I'm going to have to endure multiple seasons of Monster Energy's garish, neon-puke-green logo blaring through my TV set.

It hasn't even started, and I already hate it.

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