The tater tot king has risen from his tomb.
After a senior season defined by injuries, broken promises, and unthinkable disappointment, BYU star Richie Saunders admits that he's not satisfied with leaving Kevin Young's program on such a sour note. Taking one glance at the state of the NCAA, player eligibility, and an undefined set of rules, Saunders pledged to return to the program for one final year, per the JK Network's April Fulstein.
"We're seeing athletes get fifth, sixth, and even seventh seasons in college sports these days. " Saunders cackled at an emergency press conference. "I dare them to tell me no. I dare them to try to stop me."
And he has a point. Players from European professional leagues are testing the waters of American college hoops, like Egor Demin, Kasparas Jakucionis, Neoklis Avdalas. G-League drop-outs are enrolling back in school, like James Nnaji and Abdullah Ahmed. And the line hasn't even been drawn there -- take a look at players like Amari Bailey who played in the NBA now fighting for eligibility or Charles Bediako playing three seasons in the G-League before returning to his Alma Mater in Tuscaloosa.
Richie Saunders, with his April 1st announcement, now battles for another season at BYU. He won't cite injury, nor any other reason besides the desire to keep playing college basketball.
"If they dare defy me, I'll just stick the OreIda hellhounds on them." Saunders flashed a wicked grin as a thunderstorm brewed inside the press room. As he raised his hands at either side, he lifted his head to the sky and bellowed as he levitated from his seat and hung suspended in the center of the whirlwind. His eyes shone bright white as his infinite power was put on full display.
"Just try to stop me!"
Though yet to be confirmed by external sources, those in attendance claim to have witnessed the unearthly return of BYU greats Jimmer Fredette, Danny Ainge, and others return from the grave during the episode.
UPDATE: Saunders' petition has since been denied on account that he may be an ancient Egyptian mythological deity, which directly violates Rule 76, Section 4, Subsection 22, Sub-subsection 1 of the NCAA rulebook. Saunders' team of lawyers has yet to issue a response.